The Recipe For A Healthy Marriage

In having a look at the world it’s quite clear that some marriages succeed where others fail miserably. What precisely makes the recipe for a successful marriage?

The main answer to that question is personality. Think of personality like a channel on a radio. When the best person tunes into that channel something clicks. When the wrong person fuddles with the tuning it creates static. That seems comparatively straightforward till someone ignores those signals, or worse hopes that they can alter the frequency; alter basic characteristics of the person they like.

By the point a person reaches adulthood their core traits are fairly set. Human beings are habitual creatures. If you're going into a liaison with an idealist view of how much it'll change your other half. Step back and pay close attention to your partner’s actions – how they respond to varied scenarios and in what demeanour they support you emotionally, physically and spiritually. The reality is the recipe for a successful marriage isn't a secret – it’s all about finding the proper person. To do you've got to stay aware and mindful of potential friends to explain in your own mind and heart the truth of the situation.

Let us consider some very simple illustrations. Say your girlfriend chats about her having great respect for you – but then never takes your guidance. That could be a huge red flag. Likewise relations should be a two-way street – one individual hopping into their lane and making all the decisions does not make for a well-balanced partnership. These 2 examples are among many that come out of daily experiences – you’ll notice them if you're protective. Or maybe just the opposite happens. Perhaps they do hear guidance and make an attempt to be partners in the decision making process. This is a much more upbeat eventuality.

Staying aware means slowing down and taking your time. You will not find a person with all the essential ingredients desired if you don't take a bit of time to truly observe. Rushing into a long-term commitment is the very worst thing you can do. That's what causes folks to miss tell-tale alarm signals that they are not with the proper person, and frequently such scenarios finish in divorce. Take it one step at a time, and put down the rose coloured glasses while you do. Do not lie to yourself – this is too vital. A behaviour that bothers you now, will still trouble you later – it is not going away. So the question then becomes, are you able to live with it? How significant is it to you?

On a positive note, if you reach a point that the person you are thinking of marrying mirrors your ‘best case ‘ eventuality in word and deed, then you may have hit on a great recipe for a successful marriage. Such an individual is on with whom you share a foundation of values, and a commitment to doing the work obligatory, each day, to keep that foundation robust.

CJ Cutrone is the founder of Word and Spirit Ministries, a non profit organization that offers marriage counselling information, online sermons and a paradise for Peru youngsters.

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