Marriage: A Dream Or Nightmare?

Most people think about getting married someday from the time they are extremely young. The problem with many of those thoughts is that the romantic expectancies set by flicks and books simply isn’t the way of the real world. It's easy to become discontented in long term commitments. Sometimes you can not qualify it, but finish up blaming it on your other half, which causes strain in the family.

Folks may idealistically hope that somehow marriage will fill a void in their life, lift the isolation and magically make a ‘happily ever after ‘ eventuality. They forget that all folks have issues, and all relationships need continuing upkeep to survive not to mention find contentment. No one person may be the end-all and be all that turns your life into a fairy tale; one individual can never meet another’s complete wishes. The earlier folks understand this in any commitment, the more well off they are going to be.

A good marriage is where both folk are individuals in addition to having a 3rd entity (being a pair). A truly healthy marriage is one in which folks have past-times and activities apart from each other to support the individual, as well as mutual activities that improve bonding and foster relationship building. Just saying ‘I do ‘ does not create a solid relationship. That is only the start of on-going resources invested in the ‘couple’. You can love one another fearlessly and still have a marriage fail for shortage of maintenance and attention.

Another part of a realistic marriage is one in which both people agree on the most important components of their life,eg religion and values. If two folks are very far apart on such delicate topics, it is very likely to cause lots of troubles going forward. Competition over fundamental things like chores also drives a wedge into a marriage. The accountability game doesn't work and nobody wins. Life is simply not fair, and life regularly causes imbalances in family life. This is when that, as partners, both people just pick up the mess, clean up the problem and push on.

Hint: never go into marriage thinking that you will change your partner over a period. No one can force another person to transform. Demanding change can actually harm your relationship. Walk into your marriage accepting your other half as they are, not as some image that will never develop. If you can not do that, you might want to revisit your reasons for getting married.

Keeping your marriage resolutely footed in reality may seem dull matched against the vision of fanciful marriages, romantic dinners and running into each other’s arms. However, having that grounding finally stabilizes your marriage.

CJ Cutrone is the owner of Word and Spirit Ministries, a charitable organization that offers marriage counseling information, online sermons and a haven for Peru children.

This entry was posted in Relationships Sex and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.