Divorce is a choice which eventually result to a distressing, confusing and a mix up of conflicting emotions. Whether you are the initiator or the receiver of the decision to obtain legal separation, there are some emotions that specifically comes with it. It is but vital to understand that failure in marriage does not take place overnight. The separation is not just the result of one incident nor is the entire fault of one party. The emotional breaking up process typically extends over several years and is confounded by each party being at different stages in the emotional process while in the same stage of the physical or legal process. It may be helpful to know the typical emotional stages that may likely occur before and after divorces.
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Divorce usually starts with the emotional disillusionment of one party. Indistinct feelings of unhappiness usually starts which can may eventually lead to disagreements, stored resentments and doubt to the other spouse. Different types of emotions usually develop at this point just like fear, denial, anxiety, guilt, love, depression and grief. Sometimes these are caused by problems that occurring but have become unacknowledged by both parties. The persons involved will now start considering the pros and cons of divorce. Verbalization of dissatisfaction in their marriage marks the second stage of emotion. This time, one spouse will start express feelings of discontentment against the other. Sometimes, couples will consider asking help from a marriage counselor or take the possibility of having a second honeymoon to make marriage still work.
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Emotional separation between couples will possibly take place in the third stage of emotion. Having affairs outside the marriage usually begins at this point. Both individuals involve may develop the feeling of being victimized by the other spouse. More complicated emotions such as denial, depression, rejection, poor self esteem as well as anger will likely occur leading to the fourth stage of emotion. In the fourth stage, couples begin to separate physically and more complicated emotions will like explode at any time. Couples will now consider going public with their decision and setting tone for the divorce process takes place just like getting legal advice and setting legal precedent as to where the children will go and division of properties.
The fifth stage of emotion is indicated by the budding acceptance of both individuals which may happen throughout and subsequent to the legal process of separating. Greater adjustments and changes in the physical and emotional side will happen at this point. Couples will certainly accept the idea that their marriage is no longer fulfilling anymore. The person involved may now start regaining his or her sense of power and control, creating a plan for the future, creating new identity and discover new talents and resources. After going all through the legal process and decision made by the court, the final stage of emotion will take place and both wills start life anew as individuals. Both parties have already moved beyond the blame and anger and learn to forgive and respect the other. Both individuals will now face their new set of roles and responsibilities in the family.