So you’ve been wondering why you can’t get your ex back and you are pretty sure that you really want to hear the truth. Honestly, the truth can be quite harsh and it can leave you feeling pretty stung. Yet, the truth is often the one thing that can spur you on to make changes in your life that are positive and less painful. The first goal to get ex back is to look at some of the walls we put up ourselves.
It is part of the human condition to cause one’s own painful reality rather than become victim to it via someone else’s control. This is not to say that it is human nature, but a condition. One that has been taught through generations of others with the human condition. We threw out the love of our life to make sure that we were not the one that was dumped. Sounds familiar?
Weight gain is another way we tend to protect ourselves. We look into fat loss solutions that don’t involve giving up the candy, the salty snacks, and the unhealthy meal patterns we have going on. This is often because we aren’t really motivated to lose the weight.
All of the beauty cosmetics in the world can not hide your ugly side from the world, since that is the one that you put out there. By being ugly, cruel, and even mean you are sure that you will never again have to give into pain in order to be briefly loved. You have lost your faith in the human race.
We do these things because we want to be the best person we can be. We tell ourselves how horrible we are because we expect it to motivate us into being better people. We lash out at ourselves, sometimes physically, because we understand that the more pain we feel now the more we will want to move away from the discomfort and change our lives.
Why don’t we just stop it? It’s not an easy thing to stop. If we believe that letting someone love us will mean one day they will hurt us so deeply we can’t move in the world as a functional human being, we’ll choose loneliness instead. How do you stop doing what you are doing if you believe it is safer?
We work very hard at developing these ideas and then coming up with behaviors that seem to work, almost. We still feel pain and loneliness and anger but we don’t allow someone in to hear about it. We develop the strong sense that our own love for ourselves is somehow wrong and indecent when in fact it is the greatest gift you can offer to your own heart.