Aimed at helping you move from first date to engagement ring, these 10 pieces of advice are for both guys and gals. This is practical information you can use as you navigate life’s muddy relationship waters.
Dating is hard — or at the very least it can be. Finding the right girl or guy for you means taking 1 or 2 risks , but there’s never any reason to do anything you don’t want to do or make yourself feel uncomfortable. Sure, you will have to step a touch outside your zone of comfort, but there’s no reason to modify your ethics or compromise your morals to find the right person for you.
You wouldn’t be pleased with someone that likes a made-up version of you rather than the real deal anyhow.
So here are 10 pieces of excellent advice that may benefit any guy or gal in the dating game.
1. Trust your instincts. If you do not instantly click with somebody, move on. There are too many fish in the sea — or guys in the bar or girls at the concert — to spend time on one that isn’t quite right.
2. Take gifts without feeling any sense of duty. Don’t let gifts make you uncomfortable. Unless it is an engagement ring, you are not obligated to someone because you accept a token of their love, affection or general liking of you.
3. Bear in mind that there are benefits to being single. So take advantage of alone time to read, meditate, think or rest. When the correct individual comes along, you’ll lose privacy and “me” time — and you may never get it back.
4. Be cool. You can frighten off a potential lifetime partner by coming on too strong. Show the other person how much you like them, but don’t be too fast to profess your love or voice your desires. If it is the best person, there will be plenty of time.
5. Don’t drink on your initial date. If you’re evaluating somebody as a potential friend, you can want a clear head. And you’ve got to have your wits about you in case things take a turn south.
6. Don’t wait for the other person to take the next step. If it is time to move to the next step in a relationship, forget sex rules and social norms. Once you are certain of something, express it. You do not need him losing interest and moving on when you were hoping to get closer.
7. Nobody’s perfect, but some are a lot better than others. Decide early on to overlook little issues and look for character as an alternative. A person of character is more important than someone that doesn’t snore, don’t leave things everywhere or does not whistle while walking.
8. If things start to go wrong, be honest. The other person may feel the same way — or might possibly be able to suggest a solution. Don’t walk away crazy unless you have made your case and failed to affect. Then, getting mad is perfectly appropriate.
9. Ensure you are OK with yourself prior to agreeing to settle down. Don’t agree to move in or marry if you aren’t assured in yourself. You do not need to let the other person mould you; instead you wish to be an absolutely formed person moving in with another fully formed person.
10. Accept the ring if offered. If things are going well and you like the person, do not be surprise if he — or she — moves at a different pace than you do. Accept the engagement ring if offered rather than turning it down and terminating the relationship because the speed appears wrong. Simply because the other person moves quicker than you doesn’t suggest the relationship should be deserted.
It’s all sensible advice, right? You may not be short of advice when dating, but information this good is difficult to find. It will serve you well as you move from dating to heavy relationship and on to marriage.
Petra Bierberg is owner of a jewellery design company, she encourages people to move from dating to proposing, with a special custom jewellery at a deliberate pace, making sure a good one doesn’t get away.